.current mood .gif:
Blinky Box
Link to my site if you dig it!~
12/16/25
It's noon and I am at work.
I feel imearusable dread at every waking moment. I cannot stop thinking about how things are bad but are only going to get worse. Trying to enjoy everything I wonder how long I'll be using. Like this site... or the internet in general... or electricity.
Maybe im overreacting.
Maybe I'm not.
But no one nor anything can settle my fear, my anxiety. Nothing. It's all consuming. Sure it isnt as bad for me as many others, it isnt the pain olympics, but at the same time... I hate it here. I wish I had the ability to move. Me and my close friends... but I can't. and I can't abandon the only people I have in my life as companionship. I don't want new people in my life, I just want to be left alone- just without my freedoms being in constant jepordy.
How long will I be able to vote. Live by myself. Will I be forced to marry for protection? Will we all die in the heat death of the universe before then? I sure hope so.
I also have been thinking about how apathetic I am becoming to human suffering. I have seen so much of it in other countries. I know it will eventually be in front of me.... But I just... cant... care anymore. I am not a activist, I am not a particulaly driven individual (Yes I admit this is a character flaw I have). And it feels like everywhere is demanding my care and my help in the form of money. I just won't do it. My money is my own. I didn't choose to be in the society I am in but here I am regardless.
I feel worse about the Earth and its nature than I ever will about the sufferings of my fellow Man. Societies constantly crumble by egotistical (usually) males who have something missing inside. That is just how it is. But we are plague on the poor planet that birthed us.
Not all human societies are equal in their destruction of this planet... but it doesn't matter. They are dragged along with it now all the same. As always, a few ahorant actors acting out with no guard-rails ruins everything. Insitutions only stand in a shared faith and beleif in our hearts... and I fear it won't ever become what we need.
But what the fuck do I even know. I'm just some 33 year old idiot who thinks too much.
10/29/25
wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see. wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see.wait and see. just wait and see. all we can do is wait and see. lets wait and see. 9/4/25
A guy I work with and I go to Waffle House a lot. Pretty much whenever he askes me. He pays everytime, never has asked. He is a funny person who has helped me a lot!
...id never in a million years date him though. One simple reason- he has never cared about anything I have ever said. He expects me to engage with everything he says, talks constantly about what hes doing and his life. But the second I say something I have been doing? Silence. Then continues with what he was talking about.
Is he interested in me? I hope not. What a sad conversation that will be.
and I like the free Waffle House.
Visit Newgrounds
Remember:
my Currents:
Playing:GTA V (revisiting after years)
Cyberpunk 2077
Into:
Learning Sprite Art
Sketching OCs
Lurking On:Subeta
Neopets
Dragon Cave
Listening To:
Scar Symmetry
Sonic Soundtracks
Classic Xmas Music
My Current Subeta Avatar Fit:
Spotlight Pet:
Diyomus, my Nightmare Noktoa
My Links
my Tumblrmy Steam Page
my Neopets Page
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